Twenty ducks, in a gaggling group, mish-mashing themselves in confusing circles, jostling and moving till the whole thing resembles nothing more than a squirming mass, is much less desirable than a neat row of ducks, all in order. Try to count the unorganized bunch:
1, 2, 3, 4, 5, no, wait, that’s…1, 2, 3…hey, you get back! Oh for heaven’s sake, I give up!
Even if there are a few good, nice ducks in there, they get disguised by the jostlingness of the gaggle.
However, just a few neat ducks in a row is easy to count, and even if there aren’t as many, they’re still more impressive.
This is the way that I ace university exams.
I am the duck herder of essays. I can do what few others can do: make my ducks look impressive, even if they’re plain. I am able to make things all nice and organized, without even trying. I can take less information than a normal essay needs or ought to have, and talk so that it sounds like I’m making impressive statements about…nothing.
I am the magician, I am the sneak-thief.
I can give order to disorderly ducks, without even trying. Call me the ‘Babe’ of exam essays. Give me any topic, and I’ll be happy to baa-ram-ewe a pass.
Thursday, December 16, 2004
Tuesday, December 14, 2004
I think the mouse is a Jew
Wow- I haven't blogged in like, forever and ever. Contrary to what I'm sure you must all be believing, I haven't died. I'm still here! And please forgive the unexpected and extended absence. In my defense, there was a blog written during this period, though when I went to publish it, the site lost its head and deleted my post. Since said post was about working until all hours of the night and early morning, I'm sure you'll understand that I didn't stay up even later to re-type it. Sorry.
In any case, here I am! In the past two weeks I've been busy...
Finished a couple of essays, the last on the aforementioned night of very very little sleep. After said night, I went to class, and fought to stay awake, until just before slipping into a coma, had a nice little conversation with someone who touched my shoulder before leaving to catch his bus and I SHOULD NOT be writing about this and I'll say no more since if you've talked to me at any point during the last two weeks, you already know what I'm referring to and are thinking me even more ridiculous than you had ever suspected before this point.
In any case, I went to the bead store and worked all day, finished taking a beading class that evening, then hopped on a bus to Toronto to visit Mom for a couple of days (I know- I have no idea how I did that on no sleep either).
Mom was a peach and let me sleep in the next morning, so we didn't get to the one-of-a-kind show the way she wanted to, but instead we got our nails done and then went to my Aunt Rose's birthday party. That was a fun night, though I won't go into details (I'm thinking of writing a story about it- the literary gems of that night are just too good to pass up).
A few days later I was again in Toronto (this time with marginally more sleep under my belt), and shopped till I almost literally dropped, then hooked up with Lauren and had very Jewish food at the Pickle Barrel (there ought to be one of those places on every corner).
I got back to Hamilton on the first day of Hanukkah, and (shamefaced admonition) I forgot about it until talking online with Hugh that evening. After swearing online, I hurriedly dug my menorah (a very ugly tin ruler-shaped thing that technically belongs to a friend of Mom's) out of storage, and then realized I had no candles. Tried to get them the next day and was out of luck when I discovered that (contrary to my memory), they were not sold at the grocery store. So, it was that on day three of a religious holiday I walked into a Jewish market and asked the lady for a pack of candles, and when she gave me a 'look' (the you're-an-obviously-Jewish-girl-buying-Hanukkah-candles-on-day-three-of-Hanukkah-evil-eye look), so I stumblingly told her (through my teeth!) that my roommate had left my box of candles on the radiator. The 'look' evaporated and she laughed at the idea of my one giant Hanukkah candle. Mom's surprised that the sky didn't open up and strike me down with lightening then and there. But ever since I've lit the candles like a good girl! I swear!
Though tonight I was lighting them and stopped in the middle because the mouse came out and looked at me...maybe it's a Jewish mouse. Maybe if I put a piece of knish in there I'd finally catch him...
In any case, I've been pretty much work, work, work and study, study, study lately...
I have two more exams left, and hopefully they'll go well, and I promise to blog more often...though it might be after exams!
Even if I don't blog soon, you can be sure to find a full account of the holidays after the fact, present lists and descriptions included, and feel free to fill be in on your hauls as well- hopefully you'll all get what your hearts desire!
Have a good night everybody, and good holidays, and for heavens sake, pray for snow, cause the thin, quick-melting tease-snow we've had so far is just not good enough. (Though maybe the sky is just giving me a chance to go buy new boots before I really need them)!
In any case, here I am! In the past two weeks I've been busy...
Finished a couple of essays, the last on the aforementioned night of very very little sleep. After said night, I went to class, and fought to stay awake, until just before slipping into a coma, had a nice little conversation with someone who touched my shoulder before leaving to catch his bus and I SHOULD NOT be writing about this and I'll say no more since if you've talked to me at any point during the last two weeks, you already know what I'm referring to and are thinking me even more ridiculous than you had ever suspected before this point.
In any case, I went to the bead store and worked all day, finished taking a beading class that evening, then hopped on a bus to Toronto to visit Mom for a couple of days (I know- I have no idea how I did that on no sleep either).
Mom was a peach and let me sleep in the next morning, so we didn't get to the one-of-a-kind show the way she wanted to, but instead we got our nails done and then went to my Aunt Rose's birthday party. That was a fun night, though I won't go into details (I'm thinking of writing a story about it- the literary gems of that night are just too good to pass up).
A few days later I was again in Toronto (this time with marginally more sleep under my belt), and shopped till I almost literally dropped, then hooked up with Lauren and had very Jewish food at the Pickle Barrel (there ought to be one of those places on every corner).
I got back to Hamilton on the first day of Hanukkah, and (shamefaced admonition) I forgot about it until talking online with Hugh that evening. After swearing online, I hurriedly dug my menorah (a very ugly tin ruler-shaped thing that technically belongs to a friend of Mom's) out of storage, and then realized I had no candles. Tried to get them the next day and was out of luck when I discovered that (contrary to my memory), they were not sold at the grocery store. So, it was that on day three of a religious holiday I walked into a Jewish market and asked the lady for a pack of candles, and when she gave me a 'look' (the you're-an-obviously-Jewish-girl-buying-Hanukkah-candles-on-day-three-of-Hanukkah-evil-eye look), so I stumblingly told her (through my teeth!) that my roommate had left my box of candles on the radiator. The 'look' evaporated and she laughed at the idea of my one giant Hanukkah candle. Mom's surprised that the sky didn't open up and strike me down with lightening then and there. But ever since I've lit the candles like a good girl! I swear!
Though tonight I was lighting them and stopped in the middle because the mouse came out and looked at me...maybe it's a Jewish mouse. Maybe if I put a piece of knish in there I'd finally catch him...
In any case, I've been pretty much work, work, work and study, study, study lately...
I have two more exams left, and hopefully they'll go well, and I promise to blog more often...though it might be after exams!
Even if I don't blog soon, you can be sure to find a full account of the holidays after the fact, present lists and descriptions included, and feel free to fill be in on your hauls as well- hopefully you'll all get what your hearts desire!
Have a good night everybody, and good holidays, and for heavens sake, pray for snow, cause the thin, quick-melting tease-snow we've had so far is just not good enough. (Though maybe the sky is just giving me a chance to go buy new boots before I really need them)!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
